Message from Sarah
Now Playing: Simon and Garfunkel, "Only living boy in New York"
Dear Derek fans,

I regretfully inform you that Derek passed away last night, Sunday February 05, 2006, from what appear to be natural causes. Never was a fish so loved.

He was a sassy, outspoken individual, with great ideas. Talking things through with him and hearing his opinions ("glub glub glubbbb") helped me get through my first semester here in Hartford.

I'd like to thank all my friends for their unending support. It will probably be at least a week before I get a new fish, but when I do, I'll be more than happy to share his life with you right here. Until then, happy trails.

Fame
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: "Tara's Theme" from Gone With the Wind
Hey everyone,

So I'm sure none of you will ever believe this, but I'm becoming famous! On Wednesday Sarah's RLC 110 professor stopped her and asked if she'd written about me in her blog. Turns out he googled himself and one of the results was an entry made entitled "Why doesn't anyone deliver desserts?"

I referred to Professor Wayne Jebian as "Wayne the Dwayne Dweeb Jebian". This nickname, for the record, was not meant to be insulting or deragatory in any sense. The name "Dwayne" come from a joke that Alex, Sarah's little brother used to tell...
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dw-oning!
Yuk yuk yuk.
The title "Dweeb" comes from Professor Jebian's immense education. He appears to be a very knowledgeable, well educated man. And when I say knowledgeable, I mean that he can process information and extract meaning. How's that sound, Professor Sushil K. Oswal?

I hold Professor Jebian in nothing but the highest regard. He is a very intelligent and kind teacher. Thanks to him, Sarah passed her first semester of RLC.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some swimming to attend to...

Peace out, homefins!

Peaches and Cream Oatmeal
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Rich Price's album "Miles from Anywhere"
The weekend is my favorite part of the week because its possible for me to be a lazy jerk. I can sit around, watching America's Next Top Model Marathons on vh1, or bad Comedy Central movies like Heartbreakers. I can sit and knit a scarf for a certain special X-Mas present.

But the greatest part of the weekend is the Peaches and Cream oatmeal.

Peaches and Cream oatmeal is God's gift to mankind. It's sweet, warm, and about as satisfying as, well, a warm bowl of oatmeal. It makes us smile, and keeps us heated up on a cold, snowy day like today.

More Peaches and Cream, NOW!

Peace out, homefins.

Reeve is on Fire
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Shakira "Don't Bother"
What's up kids,

The concept of stealing is something that I truly cannot understand. Why would anyone ever steal something? Even if they are rock bottom and have absolutely nothing, to steal something is to make a public statement saying "Whether or not I know you, I don't respect you, or your property, and I'm going to take advantage of the fact that you are a trusting person."

The most ridiculous thing is to steal something that's been used. If someone has used something and it has their personal stamp on it, then why take it? Wouldn't it be better to get a new version of the item that you can call your own, and put your own stamp on?

Stealing clothing is a perfect example of this idea. If you borrow someone's shirt, and you really like the shirt, and you keep it with the intentions of "forgetting" to return it, isn't that stealing?

If someone leaves their property sitting somewhere, and the property is worth a measly $9.99, and it's almost unusuable anyway, then why steal their property? Why not spring for a new one that is completely perfect, and you can use and truly call your own?

There's a certain girl in the second floor of Reeve who has been running amok "borrowing" clothing from the girls she lives with. Not only does she take things without asking, she also never returns them. This stuff is all in addition to walking all over the girls and treating them like a big pile of doo-doo in general.

This particular girl is crazy. Her code name, Crazy 1, reflects that. She is a fungus on the University of Hartford, and she should be treated as any problem or abnormal growth is to be treated....By burning her to the root and surgically removing said root until all polluted skin is gone without a trace.

If you see Crazy 1, avoid her at all costs for the following reasons:
1: She steals clothing.
2: She cheats on her boyfriend, who seems to be a relatively good guy caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.
3: She prances around acting a basic fool.
4: She's dirty, creepy, and all around a not nice girl.
5: She thinks she's a singer and tries to impose her singing talents on her unfortunate suitemates, but the flaw in her plan is she lives with the two best singers in the entire campus, with the most beautiful natural voices ever, who just also happen to be 100 times more beautiful than she can ever hope to be.

But most importantly, she's the kind of girl who would steal a laundry basket or something of that equivalent, just because she doesn't respect anyone.

Peace out, homefins.

Jillian is the shiznit.
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Dropkick Murphy's
So basically, I'd like to open up the topic of Jillian as my new half-aunt. She's basically the coolest person ever, and I love her beyond measure. She's Sarah's best friend, and she's so freakin awesome. She's the only girl who thinks I'm cute.
I have a crush on Jillian, I'm not gonna lie. Is that weird?



Peace out, home-fins.

My FIRST FAN-MAIL!
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: James Brown "Get UP!"
That Derek is one deep-thinker. and fun dude. But it seems he's sometimes staying up too late on school nights. (According to the time he posts his messages). Tell him to get his Slimy fish butt in bed earlier.
p.s. slime is good for fish coats. Maybe that's why it's best not to change too much of their water at once. Derek is looking a bit pale around the forward gills. He might need some rest.
pps. vitamins E and A don't actually turn into fat, they are stored IN the body's fat. If you take too much it can lead to hives and other reactions as the body can't handle the excess of E or A. That's why they are called fat soluable....dissolved gradually by fat, while C is water soluable. (you can pee excess off). not stored in body
love, Moms

Hi Mom,
The reason I look a little pale around the gills is stress. Sarah gets me all worked up when Matt isn't around. He's gone til Sunday, ya know, on an expedition of some kind...Percussion thingy where they hit drums that make different booms. I don't really get it.
Love, Derek

Happy Halloween, have a fortune cookie...
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: The TV: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
If I were gay, I think I'd have a crush on Jon Stewart. He's everything I would want in a man if I wasn't a fish. He smart, sexy, intelligent, and he's got this incredibly attractive salt and pepper hair do.

Anyway, it's Halloween. I hope you all got some candy, dressed up like a dead person, and above all, got a special Halloween date or something! All holidays should be looked at as opportunities to get out and meet other people who share the same interests as you, like going out, dressing up, and above all, partying like it's 1999.

I love holidays. Check out my sweet costume!

Yeah, I'm super hott. I went as a devil fish...haahaahaa. I'm such a riot.

Anyway, I have a bunch of leftover fortune cookies from eating Chinese on Sunday night. I'm gonna crack into those... Shoot, it just crumbled all over me. That's just the way the cookie crumbles...hahahaha. Ahhhhhh...

"Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you."

Oh, and by the way, I welcome comments. I'll try respond to everyone who leaves me something, and maybe I'll give a prize to the first person who leave me a comment...Eh? Eh?

Peace out, home-fins.

Allergies and the Cold Season
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: One Block Radius "Black Mercedes"
Hey all,

I woke up this morning stuffed up like you wouldn't believe, it was awful. It was one of those stuffy gills where I couldn't tell exactly what was causing it, and I think it's because the girls keep turning the heat off at night. My water temperature is supposed to be kept between 68-82, and lately it's been FREEZING!

My advice to everyone is really pump the vitamins this season. No one really wants to get sick, and if one of us gets sick on this campus, we're ALL going to get sick. So please, as a courtesy to your fellow students, keep bundled up, drink lots of fluids, and eat a bunch of VITAMINS!

Note: Vitamin C is water soluble, so whatever your body doesn't use goes right through your system, but it IS possible to overdose on Vitamins A and E. For the record, those two vitamins for sure stay in your system and your body converts them to fat. I know because Sarah's mom told me. So be careful how much of these vitamins you're eating.

Peace out, home-fins.

Dave Chapelle
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: J-Lo "Get Right"
What'd the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!!!

AHAHAHAHAH....

Ah, that was good. I watched Dave Chapelle today, and he's a funny guy. I like someone who can make fun of themselves and not freak out about everything every two seconds. I also like that he's not afraid of pushing the envelope with the whole race issue. It's cool that he's not weird about it.

Which reminds me of my favorite comedians. Richard Pryor anyone? Talk about a funny guy. It's too bad he was into smoking crack and stuff. Some of his movies with Gene Wilder made me life. There was the one where Pryor is blind and Wilder is deaf but they become friends and get tangled up and end up in jail. What is that movie called? Reese's for the first person who guesses...

Peace out, home-fins.

Why doesn't anyone deliver desserts?
Mood:  silly
As most of you know, I live in a bowl. It's a beautiful bowl with a special little light that shines on me at night (Sarah always leaves it on because she's scared of the dark...oops, I don't think I was supposed to tell anyone that...).

Anyway, I was sitting in my bowl today watching some TV with the volume all the way down. Sarah was typing her paper for her English class with Wayne the Dwayne Dweeb Jebian, and she decided to call her family to check in. Her dad answered, and they talked. He might come out to visit next week, hopes he likes Purple Betta fish!

Then her little brother got on the horn, and they chatted about stuff. Who knows what Alex is talking about half the time, right? Of course, he said hello to me. He thinks I'm the coolest ever.

And then she started talking to her mom and her mom was telling her that since it's Greg (Sarah's dad), and Mary's (Sarah's mom) silver anniversary, they're having a turtle fudge cake. Which got me thinking about desserts, and how bad I was craving some baklava. In fact, I was willing to fork over my allowance for some hard-core Greek confections. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, anything sweet would have done.

But then I realized...No one delivers desserts! Some places deliver a dessert as part of a meal or something, but no one specializes in dessert deliveries. At least, not that I've heard of. So I was thinking, how cool would it be to have a dive that delivers the dessert you desire? Cool like you wouldn't believe!!!

Better yet, what if some places delivered breakfast? You could call up your favorite restaurant, order some scrambled eggs and toast, and have it delivered right to your door. Just in time for your nap after your 8 o'clock class.

So if any of you are thinking about food production, think seriously about opening a restaurant that has all the fixins: not just lunch and din din, but your breakfast and desserts too!

Peace out, home-fins!